Brianne

Original Photo

Lightened to see face

As I have said before, I keep a stash of pictures that "speak to me".  This image was one that was snapped of my daughter at a wedding.  I see a thousand paintings in this one image.  She could be a model of a Victorian mother gazing out the window at her children playing in the yard.  Her look says she is contemplating their future.  She would be holding a dainty teacup.  I see a warm yellow color palette with some splashes of pink.  Then I see a neo classical goddess, perhaps the huntress, Diana.  There's power and certainty in her eyes, a ferocious determination combined with courageous compassion.  My color palette changes to purples and rich browns. 

Most images translate well to "characters" that could be anybody.  But every painting I conjure up in my mind for this image is still my daughter Brianne.  She IS the Victorian woman, she IS Diana, she is Brianne.  I decided to just paint her, my daughter, Brianne.

Who is she?
She is a leader.  She is logical, intelligent and willful.  She is intimidating.  She will ferret out the truth with relentless tenacity.  Even if she has to dig it out of herself.  One of the proudest moments of my life as a mother was watching her walk through her divorce with grace, dignity, humility, faith and steady courage. 

For whatever reason, her husband abruptly left the marriage.  He walked out one night and never looked back.  It was unexpected.  We were all blindsided.  We knew their relationship had some serious "downs" but it also had incredible "highs".  After eight years, we thought they had it "figured out". 

Regardless of what he was up to, she turned to those around her and made us understand that this was about HER journey.  This was about HER story, who SHE was, and who SHE was going to be.  And she walked through it without malice.   She walked through it with faith intact.  She walked through it with love in her heart.  It has been almost a year now.  And she still hopes he is okay.

For me, a mother helplessly standing by, she has emerged from the shadows.  I see the determination in her eyes.  I see her searching the horizon, ready.  I see the quality of her bold, determined love.  She is fierce and tender at the same time.  She is proud and humble.

The painting.

Although I first imagined this painting in a hyper realism way, I quickly decided that wasn't what I wanted to portray.  I want her to "materialize".  I want the viewer to question what they see.  For this reason, I went back to the rough texture and the palette knife.  Painting this way keeps me looser and more intuitive.  Although I usually use a grid to map out the painting, I decided not to here.  The proportions are not as important as they usually are.  I tend to tighten up my paintings as I go, so I wanted to resist all the tools that would lead me in that direction.  Additionally, I decided to paint this on a piece of scrap construction material I had lying around.  It begins with two thick coats of gesso on waferboard.  On day one I laid down some yellows over the entire surface and used white to map out the figure and suggest the background.  I then took to the palette knives and started dropping in color.  Here is where the painting stands a day or so into the project.  From here, I have to let it sit while I think it through before I tackle the next hurdle in it. 

I am thinking about:  The look in the eyes.  That is the most important thing right now.  From there, I am thinking about shadows and light, and how they might tell her story.  The hands and the bottom of the picture will need some more visual interest.  (or else the painting could be shortened).  I have quite a bit of work to do before I am ready to call it "finished".  Tune in the next couple of weeks and see how this develops.  Let me know your thoughts.